I live in a very Christian religious area and quite a few of the people are superstitious about things like magic and pagans being evil and something you should avoid like the plague.
I tend to wear a lot of earthy colours in I guess what you could call a Bohemian style. My hair has a very wild natural wave to it and I wear home made wire jewellery which I admit does look very pagan in nature especially the tree of life ones. Anyways a while ago I was in the grocery store buying the makings for a skillet when a woman took one look at me looked horrified and went off in the complete opposite direction I was. More recently while at a gas station I was sitting in the car bored because we had been blocked in and had to wait for the person in front of us to finish so we could leave. I had my pendulum on me so I pulled it out and just watched it for a bit I really had nothing to ask so it just hung there until I finally said "Are we going to leave here soon?" it started in a circle to the right. When I looked up the guy who had blocked us in looked horrified. The car behind us did back out giving us space to get out as well.
People fear what they don't understand and it's rather disheartening. I'm not evil I don't worship the devil and torture small creatures. I don't curse people. I garden, I have pets, I respect the earth and I certainly don't judge people based on their religion.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Random Ramblings.
Eostre has always made her presence known in my life I just wasn't listening hard enough. Of all the Holidays Ostara has always been my favourite. I'm a gardener, I raise rabbits, and I have a thing for birds as well as brightly coloured things the smell of spring the awakening and new life it brings. Spring makes me happy and the first sign of it when the weather starts to grow warmer and the birds return I can't be anything but happy.
But can one have two patron Goddesses? Everyone says you have one God and Goddess. I've never felt the influence of one of the gods in my life. This was something that had been worrying me for some time when I finally received my answer. I had bought a pendulum a beautiful one made out of turquoise. I was sitting in my living room just watching it having already determined that left was no and right was yes when I get the sudden what felt like a kick in the arse to ask and receive an answer to my little conundrum. It literally felt like someone had spoken in my ear and told me "What are you waiting for ask about having two Goddesses." So I look at the pendulum I was holding up infront of my face, it wasn't spinning in any direction but just kind of vibrating in one spot like it was saying come on hurry up I have your answer. So I asked "Can I have two patron Goddesses?" Sure enough it spun in circles to the right.
But can one have two patron Goddesses? Everyone says you have one God and Goddess. I've never felt the influence of one of the gods in my life. This was something that had been worrying me for some time when I finally received my answer. I had bought a pendulum a beautiful one made out of turquoise. I was sitting in my living room just watching it having already determined that left was no and right was yes when I get the sudden what felt like a kick in the arse to ask and receive an answer to my little conundrum. It literally felt like someone had spoken in my ear and told me "What are you waiting for ask about having two Goddesses." So I look at the pendulum I was holding up infront of my face, it wasn't spinning in any direction but just kind of vibrating in one spot like it was saying come on hurry up I have your answer. So I asked "Can I have two patron Goddesses?" Sure enough it spun in circles to the right.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Dreams dreams dreams.
I bought some sleep stones last night which are completely different to my other sleep stones which are essential oil stones meant for aiding sleep. So I plunked them under my pillow and sure enough I had a dream. Whether I would have had it anyway is another story but I thought I'd write it down.
I was walking in a forest with a man who I call Hunter, and the forest is very familiar to the one in my dream about Flidais in fact it is the same forest just a different part. I'm walking with this man who is much taller then I am and has hair as black as ink that is somewhat wild and windblown. His eyes are a bright icy blue and are hard to look away from. The greens are a little more green in this part of the forest over powering the browns. A grey and white wolf is walking behind us. It's another warm day and a small breeze is rustling through the foliage. I'm listening to this man talk about nature and how everything has a life force from animals to even the tiniest grain of sand. He talked about the wildlife in the woods and of respecting nature. I hear a distant call of a loon. We come across this small log cabin and a young boy around eight years old comes out the front door he has dark hair and looks rather upset. He comes up to us and pleads that we have to help him. He was alone and couldn't find his parents.
Hunter doesn't appear to be able to see this boy but he does see the cabin a trouble look crosses his face and he steers us around it. That's when I realize that the boy wasn't of the now. He was Hunter as a child.
I woke up earlier than normal around 5am and because I didn't have to be up until much later I tried to get back to sleep and did in little fit full sessions until a friend started texting me about her tiny rabbit having 11 babies.
I was walking in a forest with a man who I call Hunter, and the forest is very familiar to the one in my dream about Flidais in fact it is the same forest just a different part. I'm walking with this man who is much taller then I am and has hair as black as ink that is somewhat wild and windblown. His eyes are a bright icy blue and are hard to look away from. The greens are a little more green in this part of the forest over powering the browns. A grey and white wolf is walking behind us. It's another warm day and a small breeze is rustling through the foliage. I'm listening to this man talk about nature and how everything has a life force from animals to even the tiniest grain of sand. He talked about the wildlife in the woods and of respecting nature. I hear a distant call of a loon. We come across this small log cabin and a young boy around eight years old comes out the front door he has dark hair and looks rather upset. He comes up to us and pleads that we have to help him. He was alone and couldn't find his parents.
Hunter doesn't appear to be able to see this boy but he does see the cabin a trouble look crosses his face and he steers us around it. That's when I realize that the boy wasn't of the now. He was Hunter as a child.
I woke up earlier than normal around 5am and because I didn't have to be up until much later I tried to get back to sleep and did in little fit full sessions until a friend started texting me about her tiny rabbit having 11 babies.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Patron Goddesses and Gods
When I started my spiritual journey I wasn't to keen on the aspect of believing in and Gods and/or Goddesses. I was very set in the ways of science. If I couldn't see it with my own eyes or hear it with my own ears or feel it with my own hands I was sceptical of it actually existing. I still don't really believe in "all powerful, all knowing, creators." But I do believe in Gods and Goddesses now in a more spiritual guide way and not something that has strict rules and guidelines for me to follow or judges me on what I do or fail at.
What changed my mind? A deer. I live in the middle of a town but my house backs onto a tiny patch of forest so we do have the occasional wildlife through our yard (mostly red fox). Around the time I started my spiritual journey a doe started showing up in my backyard occasionally. The first few times she stayed at the edge of the forest. Eventually she discovered my garden and literally decimated it in one night. Which is okay everything grew back several times over the next few weeks of nightly visitations. The last time I saw her was the day we had a Tornado. I don't always see her (mostly just evidence she's been around like decimated gardens and footprints) so I went back and took note of the days I did see her and discovered they aligned perfectly with times where I needed a little extra guidance. I've had fairly smooth sailing since the last time I saw her the occasional bump in the road as is to be expected in life. Anyhow woodlands and wildlife have always been an recurring theme in my dreams particularly seeing a doe. It began feeling like a message like someone was saying "Hello! I'm here let me in!" Of course it was crazy, I felt like I was going insane.
Then I had the most intense dream of my entire life. I was walking through a forest the browns of the forest floor and tree trunks where incredibly rich, and the greens were breathtaking. I could smell the musky scent of decay and the sweet smell of leaves in the sunlight. The canopy of leaves above my head was incredibly and glowed green illuminated by the sun. The air was comfortably warm and slightly humid just the way I like it. I was walking aimlessly through the woods following a path that wound its way around when I came close the edge of the forest. It felt like I was in a corner and shoulder go any further. In this corner was a pile of broken stones. All grey in colour and the once jagged edges worn down by time. Soft green moss was growing over the cracks and filling in the holes ever so slowly. I climbed up to the top of the pile and looked around at first I didn't see anything but then I noticed that the pile of rocks wasn't just ordinary grey stone strewn throughout it was several chunks of brilliant purple amethyst. Enamoured I picked up three chunks of amethyst leaving the rest for others to find one day before I continued walking this time I stepped off the path and went in a westerly direction past tall feathery ferns and bold red sunflower-like flowers the sound of birdsong filling my ears. I walked for many minutes in this little piece of paradise until I came to a clearing. In the clearing was tall grass strewn with wild flowers of ever imaginable colour, shape, and size their aromas intoxicating. In the very middle of the clearing was a large circle of earthly coloured river stones. It was three feet high coming up to the very top of my thigh. Still caring the chunks of amethyst I set them down on the stone wall of the circle because I felt that was where they belonged. They made a hollow clinking sound as I set each one down in it's new home. When I turned to leave there was a woman with beautiful long snow white hair that fell freely around her body nearly to her waist in cascading waves. Her eyes were as green as the new leaves on the trees. She was tall and slenderly built and wore a simple deerskin dress. Her feet were bare. On her right arms was a black line with several dashes and slanted lines on on that I didn't recognize but I knew it was a language of some sort. When she spoke her voice was as smooth and warm as honey. She thanked me for bringing the amethyst then told me that the circle belonged to me. It was my place of solace and wisdom. I place where I could go when I was having troubles or just to relax. She told me to take care of it and not let evil into my life. Then she said the circle once belonged to a girl who used it to harm others and she was never allowed to return. When I asked the woman her name she smiled at me and told me I already knew it. As I pondered what she meant I spied a deer at the edge of the forest I woke up then to my obnoxious alarm feeling absolutely exhausted the dream vivid in my mind not fading away like dreams do over the course of the day every time I closed my eyes I could see everything crystal clear. I still can. The woman was right I did know her name. The deer that always came into my yard I had given her a name just like I give the pair of ducks that come every year a name, and the fox who walked in on my sweeping. Flidais is what I called her.
It seemed as if I finally found my patron Goddess.
What changed my mind? A deer. I live in the middle of a town but my house backs onto a tiny patch of forest so we do have the occasional wildlife through our yard (mostly red fox). Around the time I started my spiritual journey a doe started showing up in my backyard occasionally. The first few times she stayed at the edge of the forest. Eventually she discovered my garden and literally decimated it in one night. Which is okay everything grew back several times over the next few weeks of nightly visitations. The last time I saw her was the day we had a Tornado. I don't always see her (mostly just evidence she's been around like decimated gardens and footprints) so I went back and took note of the days I did see her and discovered they aligned perfectly with times where I needed a little extra guidance. I've had fairly smooth sailing since the last time I saw her the occasional bump in the road as is to be expected in life. Anyhow woodlands and wildlife have always been an recurring theme in my dreams particularly seeing a doe. It began feeling like a message like someone was saying "Hello! I'm here let me in!" Of course it was crazy, I felt like I was going insane.
Then I had the most intense dream of my entire life. I was walking through a forest the browns of the forest floor and tree trunks where incredibly rich, and the greens were breathtaking. I could smell the musky scent of decay and the sweet smell of leaves in the sunlight. The canopy of leaves above my head was incredibly and glowed green illuminated by the sun. The air was comfortably warm and slightly humid just the way I like it. I was walking aimlessly through the woods following a path that wound its way around when I came close the edge of the forest. It felt like I was in a corner and shoulder go any further. In this corner was a pile of broken stones. All grey in colour and the once jagged edges worn down by time. Soft green moss was growing over the cracks and filling in the holes ever so slowly. I climbed up to the top of the pile and looked around at first I didn't see anything but then I noticed that the pile of rocks wasn't just ordinary grey stone strewn throughout it was several chunks of brilliant purple amethyst. Enamoured I picked up three chunks of amethyst leaving the rest for others to find one day before I continued walking this time I stepped off the path and went in a westerly direction past tall feathery ferns and bold red sunflower-like flowers the sound of birdsong filling my ears. I walked for many minutes in this little piece of paradise until I came to a clearing. In the clearing was tall grass strewn with wild flowers of ever imaginable colour, shape, and size their aromas intoxicating. In the very middle of the clearing was a large circle of earthly coloured river stones. It was three feet high coming up to the very top of my thigh. Still caring the chunks of amethyst I set them down on the stone wall of the circle because I felt that was where they belonged. They made a hollow clinking sound as I set each one down in it's new home. When I turned to leave there was a woman with beautiful long snow white hair that fell freely around her body nearly to her waist in cascading waves. Her eyes were as green as the new leaves on the trees. She was tall and slenderly built and wore a simple deerskin dress. Her feet were bare. On her right arms was a black line with several dashes and slanted lines on on that I didn't recognize but I knew it was a language of some sort. When she spoke her voice was as smooth and warm as honey. She thanked me for bringing the amethyst then told me that the circle belonged to me. It was my place of solace and wisdom. I place where I could go when I was having troubles or just to relax. She told me to take care of it and not let evil into my life. Then she said the circle once belonged to a girl who used it to harm others and she was never allowed to return. When I asked the woman her name she smiled at me and told me I already knew it. As I pondered what she meant I spied a deer at the edge of the forest I woke up then to my obnoxious alarm feeling absolutely exhausted the dream vivid in my mind not fading away like dreams do over the course of the day every time I closed my eyes I could see everything crystal clear. I still can. The woman was right I did know her name. The deer that always came into my yard I had given her a name just like I give the pair of ducks that come every year a name, and the fox who walked in on my sweeping. Flidais is what I called her.
It seemed as if I finally found my patron Goddess.
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